Tag Archives: unhappy

Why Bad Sushi Can Actually Provide You with Unexpected Opportunities

sushi  I was on the other side of someone’s bad-feeling beliefs the other day.  It wasn’t fun.

My son chose to celebrate his 17th birthday at our (formally) favorite restaurant – hiko-A-mon (A sushi restaurant in Eastern Louisville).

My wife and I were happy with his choice; we had dined there probably thirty times in the last year.  Unfortunately, we can no longer call this place our favorite.

A Special Meal Turned Out to Be Not So Special (But Not Unrepairable)

I called ahead and reserved their special party room and told the restaurant that we were celebrating our son’s birthday that evening.  Both of my son’s grandparents joined us for the party.

As sometimes happens with any restaurant, the experience was not pleasant.

  • It took about forty-five minutes for our food to arrive
  • Some of the orders were wrong or incomplete
  • The food was lacking its normal luster

But, hey, that can happen to any restaurant from time to time, right?

The Owner Got to Be “Right”, But Being Right Cost Him Hundreds of Dollars

Being that we are regular customers and this was a special night, and being a person who believes its better to tell the management when I’m not pleased (rather than walk out and never return), I politely told the owner of hiko-A-mon about the problems that had made our special meal unpleasant.

The owner told me, “Too bad”.

All I really wanted was some recognition and empathy.  And a token deduction from our tab would’ve gone a long way to that end.

When I told the owner of hiko-A-mon that this has been our favorite restaurant and we had dined there many, many times, he was unmoved.  When I told the owner of hiko-A-mon that handling this matter differently would cement us as customers for life, his unfortunate response was “Well, I’m the owner and that’s too bad.”

I was angry, but mostly sad to be honest.  Not just sad that my son’s birthday was a little less special (we made up for that by going out for pie and ice cream later).  Mostly sad that the restaurant’s owner let this opportunity pass him by.

It was like watching a person be handed a nugget of gold and flushing it down the toilet. (Click that link to Tweet it)

I Don’t Like Starting Over Sometimes, But Sometimes I Have To

The scenario, however, ended up reinforcing my belief that there are kernels of opportunity in every circumstance, no matter how undesirable they seem.  The unsatisfactory meal could have been put in our rear view mirror with some simple gestures of kindness by the owner (which we believed we had earned due to our patronage).

In other words, a moment of the owner of hiko-A-mon’s time and empathy (and a few less bucks in his till that evening) would’ve netted him hundreds of dollars in long run.  His instance on being “right” negated a win-win for everyone.

Now we need to find a new favorite restaurant.  Which, I suppose, might be a great opportunity for us. 😉

I invite you to join me in learning from this restaurant owner’s mistake.  Don’t be blinded by bad-feeling beliefs.  Step back today, when the unwanted happens, and seize the opportunity to benefit from the inherent blessing to be found there. (Click that link to Tweet it)

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align your life with your desires…

Why Is He Miserable? Here is the Answer

  Do you know someone miserable?  I do.

He is occasionally short-tempered, often acts arrogantly, and sometimes speaks condescendingly.  He complains a lot; something is almost always wrong and it’s usually someone else’s fault.  By all appearances he is incredibly unhappy.

Can you imagine what it’s like to live inside his head?  What horrid and bad-feeling stories has he told himself for so long that they’ve become his beliefs?  He’s at the bottom of a deep well, buried in negative beliefs, and sees no way out.

In his mind, the only way he can escape his prison of unhappiness is for things outside of himself to conform to his plans.  “If only things would go the way I want them to, I would be okay” or “If only people would treat me the way I want them to, I would be happy”, he constantly thinks.  He is a victim in the truest sense of the word.

He doesn’t have a clue that his beliefs create his material reality – his life.  And he has no idea that he has created his beliefs through his habitual thoughts.  His overriding belief that he needs things outside himself to change (to be happy) is a result of a total lack of understanding about how each of us creates our world.

He could be free of his self-made prison today by taking responsibility for forming new beliefs.  He could form new beliefs by learning to tell himself better stories, which, over time, will form new neural pathways of habitual thought and, thus, create a new universe for him.  Instead he continues to plow the same old ground and, until he makes these changes, will always see the same repetitive, negative, displeasing, “out-of-order” universe.

Like the movie, Groundhog Day, this person is in a rut.  And the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole.

Yes, I know this person very well.  Years ago, I used to see him in the mirror each morning.

Do you know this person too?  If you do, do yourself a favor and set yourself free.  The prison was self-created and has only been in your mind.  And if you do know this person, stay tuned to this blog for your parole papers!

Dear Mr. Grumpy

  Hey grumpy.

Yeah, you.  The guy who won’t let me merge on the expressway.  The fellow who doesn’t return my smile in the grocery store.  The guy who complains about the movie while sitting behind me.

I want you to know how inspiring you are to me.  I wish you weren’t so unhappy – I truly do.  But, since I can’t change you, I choose to learn from you and find gratitude in your presence.

I used to be like you too.  I used to think life was happening “to” me, as if I were a passive observer who had to suffer life’s whims like a flag being blow whichever way the wind took it.  As if I had no control over my state of being and, instead, had my outlook dictated by whatever was happening around me (most of that being, in my view, not what I wanted).

I used to see people as my adversaries.  As if life were a contest and, if I didn’t win, you would.  We were all, in my view, fighting for a the same piece of that small pie I called “desired outcomes” of my life’s efforts.

I used to think that you were out to beat me, just as I wanted to beat you.  That you were out to get me, even, so that I no longer posed a threat to you.  Because that’s how I thought about everyone else.

I used to reserve my unprompted friendliness and smiles for people who had something I wanted.  Giving out that stuff freely, I used to think, was at best wasted energy.  And, at worst, showing weakness.  I used to think you had to be tough to survive the daily grind.

Then something happened to me.  I realized just how unhappy I was.  I realized how miserable my life was day-to-day and how little enjoyment I ever felt.  I realized just how much of my life I was missing out on by being fixated on everything that was “wrong”.

And I started looking to people who somehow retained their optimism and happiness amidst trying circumstances.  How did they do that, I wondered, while I have everything a man could want, yet suffered daily?

And I asked them to teach me.  They taught me how they did it and I listened; I let them teach me.  And now I teach others their secrets.  You can read how to do it too, if you ever get sick and tired of fighting life every day.  If you, too, ever become willing to surrender like I did, having had enough pain.

And, once you do, you’ll find that surrendering this fight is how you win.

But until you do, I’ll wish you well.  And be grateful for you because you’ve reminded me again today, when you took everything that was left of my favorite dessert on the buffet instead of sharing it with the guy who was obviously waiting behind you to have some, just how far I’ve come.  And just how much I don’t want to return.

When it comes down to it, I’d rather be the one being reminded of this than the one doing the reminding!  Bless you.  And thank you.