Tag Archives: happy

How My Newborn Son’s Near-Death Taught Me that We Can Always Choose Gratitude

baby boy   Seventeen years ago this morning, my (then) wife gave birth to our first son.  He was six weeks premature.

I caught a glimpse of him as the nurse whisked him to the delivery room table where the team gets babies breathing.  My wife and I waited, anxious to hold him.

But we heard no cries from our baby.

More nurses began to gather around the table and assist the doctor.  The team’s activity became more frantic; we could hear the concern in their voices.  Minutes passed, seeming like hours, but still we heard no sounds from our baby.

“What’s wrong?”, we began to imploringly ask.  Tears of fear streaming down our faces.

The delivery team was too occupied with working on our son to answer our questions.  Within moments our baby was rushed out of the delivery room and a nurse explained to us that they were unable to get him breathing and were rushing him to the children’s hospital downtown.

We never got to hold him on his birthday.  Let alone see him.

Wipe Your Eyes (I Just Did) and Keep Reading

My son is seventeen years old today.

He spent over a month in that infant intensive care unit.  I aged a year in that month.  And I’m happy to say (given the alternative) that my son has given me plenty more opportunities to prematurely age since March 27th, 1996. 😉

I’m really proud of the thoughtful, open-minded, curious, intelligent, and mature young man my first-born son has grown into.  I’m grateful I’ve had the opportunity to be his father and mentor him.  He’ll always hold a special place in my heart because he is my first child; he made me a father.

It’s been wonderful to have the perspective of what “might have been”, had things turned out differently during my son’s first month of life.  Especially when he does something that gives me a few more gray hairs.  Yet I’m also grateful that I don’t need something so obvious, to feel grateful for, to find gratitude.

(Finding gratitude for being grateful is a very powerful Mobius band, by the way.  I highly recommend it!) (Click that link to Tweet it)

Did You Know You Have a Super-Power?

Yet my gratitude for my son on his birthday reminds me just how powerful gratitude is.  In a universe where our beliefs create our expectations and our expectations create our material reality, building beliefs powered by gratitude forms extraordinary life experiences. (Click that link to Tweet it)

In fact, as I’ve written in an earlier post, gratitude is so effective it’s like a secret super-power.

Is there any life experience where you can’t uncover some inherent gratitude?  I haven’t found one yet. (Click that Link to Tweet it)

Oh, I’ll be the first to admit that I have plenty of life experiences that are undesirable or unwanted.  Things that would be different were I, literally, writing a script.  But even the worst hold kernels of gratitude; in fact, sometimes the worst of them hold the most powerful seeds of gratitude. (Click that link to Tweet it)

Even if only in retrospect.

A Commitment and Willingness to Try is All it Takes

If I’m committed to finding gratitude in all my life’s circumstances, I’ve found that I can eventually find gratitude in even the really undesirable ones.  Because of my previous experiences with finding it there.

As in, I can tell myself this story:

“Although this event is very frightening, feels bad, and is extremely unwanted, I can believe that I’ll be okay, things happen like they’re supposed to, and, in the long run, I will most likely find hidden blessings in these events.  Even if that takes a while, for now I can choose to feel my feelings, resolve to face my fears, and trust that things will be okay.”

Allow Me to Be Presumptuous for a Moment

Am I presumptuous to tell you that you can always choose to tell yourself a story like that one?  What if you’re dealing with the death of a loved one, learning about a frightening diagnosis, or losing your marriage?

No, I am not being presumptuous; I have faced those events myself and told that story.  Things have not always turned out exactly as I wanted, but that story has always proven prophetic  – I have always been okay in the long run and, also in the long run, I have always found hidden blessings in those undesirable events.

Because, over time and with enough telling, that story has become one of my beliefs.

Given the Choice, Why Wouldn’t You Choose Gratitude Over the Alternative?

The stories you tell are, and will always be, your choice.  Even when the events are horribly unwanted.  Google the names of “Viktor Frankl” and “Louie Zamperini” if you want to learn more about people who used this technique under the most wretched situations imaginable and survived (even thrived) – especially as time passed.

Today, as I feel grateful for the gift of seventeen years spent with my son, I hope you, too, find many things to be grateful for.  And I also hope you join me in my commitment to telling stories about all life’s circumstances that allow you to feel gratitude.

You’ll love the material reality those beliefs you build will create.

And Happy Birthday, son!

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align your life with your desires…

Why Buttheads Needn’t Pose Any Problems for Deliberate Creators

Butt-head  What about dealing with difficult people?  What do you do when you encounter a butthead? (Click that link to Tweet it) Can you, a deliberate creator, change a butthead into a person who’s more pleasant?

No.  And yes.  Just like with the weather.

Yes, I’m a Butthead Sometimes

I’ll reveal how you can change a butthead like the weather in a moment.  First, though, an important question: are you ever a butthead?

I am.  I’m not proud of those occasions, but I am a butthead sometimes and that brings up a vital point about buttheads.

When I’m a butthead, it’s always because I’m not, in that moment, feeling good about myself.  My self-worth is low.  I’m afraid.  I feel alone.  That’s when I treat people shabbily (or less joyfully than I prefer).

Although It’s Not Fun to Be Around a Butthead, It’s Less Fun to Be One

So what does that tell me about buttheads?

Primarily that the butthead I’m encountering is someone who, in that moment at least, doesn’t like herself very much.  Knowing that doesn’t make the butthead more fun to be around, but it can change my perspective from anger to empathy.

And knowing the cause of “buttheadism”, I am left with an uplifting reminder: would I rather occasionally suffer a butthead or be a butthead? (Click that link to Tweet it) I know what my choice is every time!

A Better-Feeling Story About Buttheads

So now, instead of feeling angry when I encounter a butthead, I have two much better feeling stories I can tell myself – both of which alter my material reality in that moment.

Don’t those stories and the ability to be in control of your state of being (rather than surrendering control to the butthead) actually make you more powerful than the butthead?  In practice, you have just changed that butthead…because you’ve taken away her power over you.

Try those stories the next time you’re around someone acting like a jerk.  I just hope you aren’t using them on me!

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align your material reality with your desires…

How to Control the Weather

Sunny Day  You are an immensely powerful creator.  But can you control the weather?

Sort of.  And, also, “yes”.

Are You a Weather Wizard?

Sort of?  I don’t believe you can reliably and repeatedly make it rain or make the sun shine on command.  Yes, you do create your material world through your observations (and, more importantly, your expectations),.  But I don’t believe you have such an immediate authority over the weather outside.

Yes?  I do believe that you can, however, assign any meaning you choose to the weather you encounter today.  How does that count as a “Yes, you can control the weather”?  Keep reading.

What Will the Sunshine Really Do For You?  An Important Question for Deliberate Creators

Think for a moment about why you would want the sun to shine on a cloudy day.  Because of what it would allow you do, right?  Enjoy the outdoors, play outside, brighten your mood, garden, golf, etc.

But dig deeper about why you would want the sun to shine on a cloudy day.  Isn’t the deepest reason because of how it would make you feel?  And how the activities the sunshine would allow would make you feel?  Happy, uplifted, joyous, free, open, spontaneous, etc.?

Me. too.

So…what if you decided to feel those feelings the sunshine would give you – right now?  Regardless of the clouds, the gloom, the rain, or the grey overcast?

How You’re Actually More Powerful Than the Weather You See Outside Your Window

Wouldn’t feeling those “sunshine feelings”, regardless of the clouds, make you more powerful than the actual weather?  Wouldn’t that remove the power the current weather holds over your state of being?  Wouldn’t that decision, in actual practice, make you the master of the weather – wresting back control over your state of being?

So, in this way, isn’t it true to say that you are, in fact, capable of creating your own, personal “weather”?  So, yes, you can control the weather!

And, with practice, I’ll bet you a copy of my new book that you’ll find that adopting the practice of creating your own, personal sunshine (in this manner) also prompts the “actual” sun to shine through the clouds.  Just for you!  The universe listens and responds to your feelings and the beliefs which drive them. (Click that link to Tweet it)

And stay tuned to this blog for my techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics…