Tag Archives: empathy

Why Bad Sushi Can Actually Provide You with Unexpected Opportunities

sushi  I was on the other side of someone’s bad-feeling beliefs the other day.  It wasn’t fun.

My son chose to celebrate his 17th birthday at our (formally) favorite restaurant – hiko-A-mon (A sushi restaurant in Eastern Louisville).

My wife and I were happy with his choice; we had dined there probably thirty times in the last year.  Unfortunately, we can no longer call this place our favorite.

A Special Meal Turned Out to Be Not So Special (But Not Unrepairable)

I called ahead and reserved their special party room and told the restaurant that we were celebrating our son’s birthday that evening.  Both of my son’s grandparents joined us for the party.

As sometimes happens with any restaurant, the experience was not pleasant.

  • It took about forty-five minutes for our food to arrive
  • Some of the orders were wrong or incomplete
  • The food was lacking its normal luster

But, hey, that can happen to any restaurant from time to time, right?

The Owner Got to Be “Right”, But Being Right Cost Him Hundreds of Dollars

Being that we are regular customers and this was a special night, and being a person who believes its better to tell the management when I’m not pleased (rather than walk out and never return), I politely told the owner of hiko-A-mon about the problems that had made our special meal unpleasant.

The owner told me, “Too bad”.

All I really wanted was some recognition and empathy.  And a token deduction from our tab would’ve gone a long way to that end.

When I told the owner of hiko-A-mon that this has been our favorite restaurant and we had dined there many, many times, he was unmoved.  When I told the owner of hiko-A-mon that handling this matter differently would cement us as customers for life, his unfortunate response was “Well, I’m the owner and that’s too bad.”

I was angry, but mostly sad to be honest.  Not just sad that my son’s birthday was a little less special (we made up for that by going out for pie and ice cream later).  Mostly sad that the restaurant’s owner let this opportunity pass him by.

It was like watching a person be handed a nugget of gold and flushing it down the toilet. (Click that link to Tweet it)

I Don’t Like Starting Over Sometimes, But Sometimes I Have To

The scenario, however, ended up reinforcing my belief that there are kernels of opportunity in every circumstance, no matter how undesirable they seem.  The unsatisfactory meal could have been put in our rear view mirror with some simple gestures of kindness by the owner (which we believed we had earned due to our patronage).

In other words, a moment of the owner of hiko-A-mon’s time and empathy (and a few less bucks in his till that evening) would’ve netted him hundreds of dollars in long run.  His instance on being “right” negated a win-win for everyone.

Now we need to find a new favorite restaurant.  Which, I suppose, might be a great opportunity for us. 😉

I invite you to join me in learning from this restaurant owner’s mistake.  Don’t be blinded by bad-feeling beliefs.  Step back today, when the unwanted happens, and seize the opportunity to benefit from the inherent blessing to be found there. (Click that link to Tweet it)

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align your life with your desires…

Why Buttheads Needn’t Pose Any Problems for Deliberate Creators

Butt-head  What about dealing with difficult people?  What do you do when you encounter a butthead? (Click that link to Tweet it) Can you, a deliberate creator, change a butthead into a person who’s more pleasant?

No.  And yes.  Just like with the weather.

Yes, I’m a Butthead Sometimes

I’ll reveal how you can change a butthead like the weather in a moment.  First, though, an important question: are you ever a butthead?

I am.  I’m not proud of those occasions, but I am a butthead sometimes and that brings up a vital point about buttheads.

When I’m a butthead, it’s always because I’m not, in that moment, feeling good about myself.  My self-worth is low.  I’m afraid.  I feel alone.  That’s when I treat people shabbily (or less joyfully than I prefer).

Although It’s Not Fun to Be Around a Butthead, It’s Less Fun to Be One

So what does that tell me about buttheads?

Primarily that the butthead I’m encountering is someone who, in that moment at least, doesn’t like herself very much.  Knowing that doesn’t make the butthead more fun to be around, but it can change my perspective from anger to empathy.

And knowing the cause of “buttheadism”, I am left with an uplifting reminder: would I rather occasionally suffer a butthead or be a butthead? (Click that link to Tweet it) I know what my choice is every time!

A Better-Feeling Story About Buttheads

So now, instead of feeling angry when I encounter a butthead, I have two much better feeling stories I can tell myself – both of which alter my material reality in that moment.

Don’t those stories and the ability to be in control of your state of being (rather than surrendering control to the butthead) actually make you more powerful than the butthead?  In practice, you have just changed that butthead…because you’ve taken away her power over you.

Try those stories the next time you’re around someone acting like a jerk.  I just hope you aren’t using them on me!

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align your material reality with your desires…