Tag Archives: better feeling

How Roast Beef Can Teach You to Be a More Powerful Deliberate Creator

roast beef  Here’s a story about how my friend learned to take more responsibility for his own beliefs through roast beef:

My friend, Jeff, watched his new bride prepare the family specialty during their first week of marriage.  Roast beef.

Jennifer rubbed the roast with oil and spices.  Put it  in the pan.  Then, before placing it in the oven, she cut one inch off the front and one inch off the back of the roast.

Jeff asked Jennifer why.  Jennifer replied, “That’s how you make a roast.”

“Strange”, thought Jeff.

Two weeks later, Jeff was at his in-laws home for dinner.  His mother-in-law was preparing a roast.  Jeff watched her rub the roast with oil and spices.  Put it  in the pan.  Then, before placing it in the oven, cut one inch off the front and off the back of the roast.

“I guess that is how you make a roast”, thought Jeff.  But he still thought it odd.

Months later, at a family gathering at Jennifer’s grandmother’s home, Jeff took advantage of the opportunity to observe the family matriarch prepare the delicacy.

Jennifer’s grandmother rubbed the roast with oil and spices.  Put it  in the pan.  Then she put it in the oven.

Jeff said, “Wait a moment, didn’t you forget something?”

“What did I forget, honey?” came the grandmother’s response.

“You forgot to cut an inch off the front and back of the roast”, protested Jeff.

“Oh, I stopped doing that quite a while ago, dear”, said the grandmother.

“Why?”, asked Jeff.

“About four months ago, I bought a bigger pan.”

We’re All Like Jennifer Sometimes – But We Don’t Have to Be

Aren’t we all a little like Jennifer from time to time?  Doing things the way we think we’re “supposed to”?  Just because they are the way we’ve always done them?

Even when they make no sense?  And even when they do not serve us?

Stop being a “Jennifer” today.  Stop cutting the ends off your “roast” and start building new beliefs that serve you today and align you with your desires – by telling yourself the best-feeling, believable stories about all your life’s experiences.

And stay tuned to this blog for more tips and techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align yourself with your dreams and desires…

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How to Avoid a Common and Potentially Deadly Spiritual Poison

buttons  What pushes your buttons?  What makes you angry?

Me?  Passive aggressive behavior pushes my buttons.  I often react to it with anger and sometimes lash out in “retaliation” without thinking first.

My Buttons Are Easy for The People Closest to Me to See and Push

And guess what?  The people closest to me know this about me (just as I intuitively know what their buttons are).  And those people occasionally employ passive aggression with me when they are, in that moment, feeling angry towards me, frustrated, and/or powerless.

Their choice to exhibit passive aggression is entirely theirs – there is not much I can do about it.  But I can always do something about my response.  And reacting in anger usually makes me feel rotten afterward.

Doesn’t That Person “Deserve” My Anger?

So why, knowing that passive aggression is not “okay” for someone to use against me and knowing that I am “justified” in my anger towards it, would I tell new, better-feeling stories  about it?  Because I don’t want to feel rotten and I am, after all, the only one in control of how I feel (unless I want to surrender that power to someone else).  Feeling rotten does not align me with my desires and acting in anger towards someone does not create a personally pleasing physical reality for me.

When someone pushes my buttons, I can choose to tell a new, better feeling story about it.  I can remember:

  • “The button-pusher is, at that moment, not in a good place; anyone who feels great about himself doesn’t need to resort to that kind of immature, non-effective behavior.”
  • “The scenario where my buttons get pushed by a loved one or acquaintance is, after all, a well-rehearsed dance; the button-pusher and I know the choreography by heart and I am just as responsible for the habitual nature of this dance which has been formed through loads of practice between us.”
  • “Justifying my angry reaction to getting my buttons pushed doesn’t make me feel any better in the long run.  I might get the satisfaction of feeling “right”, but I don’t feel good.  Which is more important to me today?  Being aware of my part in this dysfunctional dance and taking responsibility for it feels much better than the self-righteous satisfaction of being “right”.

Those stories feel so much better than:

  • “I need to yell at this person because he has made me angry with his button-pushing behavior.”
  • “I am justified to be angry and yell at this person; he deserves it damn it.”
  • “I will punish this button person; he will not get away with this behavior”

Taking Responsibility For Myself Is The Antidote to the Poison of Self-Righteous Anger

Knowing that it takes two willing people to dance a familiar dance of button-pushing/anger response, I can choose to stop my part in it and blow out the flame of our conflict.  I can do that by telling myself better-feeling, believable stories like the ones I described previously.  And that feels much better, is a more self-actualized response, and aligns me with my desired outcomes.

Not to mention the fact that, with enough practice at telling myself these new, better-feeling, believable stories, I build new beliefs for myself.  And with these new beliefs, over time, I find myself reacting with anger, towards button-pushing behavior, less and less.

Pretty soon I have far fewer buttons to push!  And that’s a wonderful state of being.

Getting angry at people, especially people I know and love, just doesn’t feel good nor does it serve me.  No matter how profoundly I can justify it.  In fact, “justified” anger is, in my experience, one of the worst spiritual poisons I can drink! (Click that link to Tweet it)

Stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align yourself with your desires more completely than you’d thought possible…

Why Buttheads Needn’t Pose Any Problems for Deliberate Creators

Butt-head  What about dealing with difficult people?  What do you do when you encounter a butthead? (Click that link to Tweet it) Can you, a deliberate creator, change a butthead into a person who’s more pleasant?

No.  And yes.  Just like with the weather.

Yes, I’m a Butthead Sometimes

I’ll reveal how you can change a butthead like the weather in a moment.  First, though, an important question: are you ever a butthead?

I am.  I’m not proud of those occasions, but I am a butthead sometimes and that brings up a vital point about buttheads.

When I’m a butthead, it’s always because I’m not, in that moment, feeling good about myself.  My self-worth is low.  I’m afraid.  I feel alone.  That’s when I treat people shabbily (or less joyfully than I prefer).

Although It’s Not Fun to Be Around a Butthead, It’s Less Fun to Be One

So what does that tell me about buttheads?

Primarily that the butthead I’m encountering is someone who, in that moment at least, doesn’t like herself very much.  Knowing that doesn’t make the butthead more fun to be around, but it can change my perspective from anger to empathy.

And knowing the cause of “buttheadism”, I am left with an uplifting reminder: would I rather occasionally suffer a butthead or be a butthead? (Click that link to Tweet it) I know what my choice is every time!

A Better-Feeling Story About Buttheads

So now, instead of feeling angry when I encounter a butthead, I have two much better feeling stories I can tell myself – both of which alter my material reality in that moment.

Don’t those stories and the ability to be in control of your state of being (rather than surrendering control to the butthead) actually make you more powerful than the butthead?  In practice, you have just changed that butthead…because you’ve taken away her power over you.

Try those stories the next time you’re around someone acting like a jerk.  I just hope you aren’t using them on me!

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align your material reality with your desires…

Why Creating Your Own Reality is Like Driving a Stick-Shift

Gearshift  We recently got a manual transmission car.  It’s the first one I’ve owned since 1993, although I drove nothing but stick-shifts during my first decade as a driver.

I’ve been reminded, thus, about how much conscious effort it can take to drive a stick-shift (as opposed to driving an automatic transmission).  At first, that is.  And then, with repeated driving, it becomes as automatic as…well, driving an automatic.

Telling New Stories Takes Concerted Effort For a While

Changing your beliefs works the same way.  For a while, telling new, better-feeling stories about all of your life experiences takes a real, conscious effort.  It’s a radical departure, after all, from your old, “auto-pilot” habit of simply accepting conventional wisdom and labeling so much of your life as “bad”.

As you probably know, when you begin driving a clutch (or reacquaint yourself with doing so), you have to pay close attention to your speed and the revving of the engine to ensure you’re shifting at appropriate times.  It’s work.  But, over the course of time, your ears become so accustomed to the engine’s whine that you begin to shift gears without having to consciously think about it.

Taken one step further, the familiar routes you drive (to the grocery store or to work, for example) become so habitual that your muscle memory gets trained to shift subconsciously at certain points along the drive (not accounting for varied traffic density, of course).

You’re Now Driving Your Stick-Shift on Auto-Pilot

You’ve practiced enough, you see, that your gear shifting is now being done unconsciously.  What once took your conscious concentration is now occurring within your subconscious and now takes no more effort than driving your automatic transmission.

You’re Soon Be Creating Your Improved Reality on Auto-Pilot Too

Creating new beliefs and relying on those new beliefs to create a material reality more closely aligned with your desires works the same way.  At first it does take your conscious effort and focus to tell new, better feeling stories which build new beliefs for you.  But…  With practice, your new stories and attending perspectives start to become second-nature – they happen unconsciously after enough practice.  (Click that link to Tweet it)

Your spiritual and mental “muscle memory” has been trained.

Stay tuned to this blog, of course, for more techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to create a more pleasing reality…