Monthly Archives: March 2013

What Can The Croods Teach You About the Value of Doing Things Differently?

croods  Do you know the motto of the Croods?  The animated cave-dwelling family from the recent movie with the same name?

“Don’t ever not be afraid”

The Croods is an inspiring fish-out-of-water story about a cave-dwelling family forced out of their familiar environment.  They live by three simple rules:

  1. Don’t ever do anything new
  2. New is bad
  3. Always do what you’ve always done and you’ll stay alive

Are You a Crood?  Am I?

If you replace the word “alive” with the word “safe”, don’t the Croods’ rules sound familiar(Click that link to Tweet it) I know they do to me.

There is safety in the predictability of what we’ve always done.  Even if what we’ve done is bringing us pain, we often say to ourselves, “Better the familiar pain than the unknown”. (Click that link to Tweet it)

Any human can fall prey to that belief.

After all the unknown is often scary.  We may ask ourselves, “What if the new outcome is even worse?”

Living is, After All, Usually Preferable to Simply Staying Alive

Yet at The Croods’ penultimate moment, the family’s daughter declares, “This is just ‘staying alive’; this isn’t living!”  And, when the Croods’ hand is forced they all end up changing their motto to, “Follow the Light”.

What has forced your hand to follow the light?  Me?  Extreme financial desperation (about eight years ago) forced me out of my “cave”.  I’m now incredibly grateful for that pain, since it was the catalyst (the “loaded gun to my head”, if you will) that forced me to stop “never not being afraid” and follow the light.

Whatever pain forced you from your “cave” and required you to start living (rather than simply staying alive), join me today in taking a moment (or two) to say “Thank you” to the universe for giving it to you.

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms  from quantum physics to align your life with your desires…

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How My Newborn Son’s Near-Death Taught Me that We Can Always Choose Gratitude

baby boy   Seventeen years ago this morning, my (then) wife gave birth to our first son.  He was six weeks premature.

I caught a glimpse of him as the nurse whisked him to the delivery room table where the team gets babies breathing.  My wife and I waited, anxious to hold him.

But we heard no cries from our baby.

More nurses began to gather around the table and assist the doctor.  The team’s activity became more frantic; we could hear the concern in their voices.  Minutes passed, seeming like hours, but still we heard no sounds from our baby.

“What’s wrong?”, we began to imploringly ask.  Tears of fear streaming down our faces.

The delivery team was too occupied with working on our son to answer our questions.  Within moments our baby was rushed out of the delivery room and a nurse explained to us that they were unable to get him breathing and were rushing him to the children’s hospital downtown.

We never got to hold him on his birthday.  Let alone see him.

Wipe Your Eyes (I Just Did) and Keep Reading

My son is seventeen years old today.

He spent over a month in that infant intensive care unit.  I aged a year in that month.  And I’m happy to say (given the alternative) that my son has given me plenty more opportunities to prematurely age since March 27th, 1996. 😉

I’m really proud of the thoughtful, open-minded, curious, intelligent, and mature young man my first-born son has grown into.  I’m grateful I’ve had the opportunity to be his father and mentor him.  He’ll always hold a special place in my heart because he is my first child; he made me a father.

It’s been wonderful to have the perspective of what “might have been”, had things turned out differently during my son’s first month of life.  Especially when he does something that gives me a few more gray hairs.  Yet I’m also grateful that I don’t need something so obvious, to feel grateful for, to find gratitude.

(Finding gratitude for being grateful is a very powerful Mobius band, by the way.  I highly recommend it!) (Click that link to Tweet it)

Did You Know You Have a Super-Power?

Yet my gratitude for my son on his birthday reminds me just how powerful gratitude is.  In a universe where our beliefs create our expectations and our expectations create our material reality, building beliefs powered by gratitude forms extraordinary life experiences. (Click that link to Tweet it)

In fact, as I’ve written in an earlier post, gratitude is so effective it’s like a secret super-power.

Is there any life experience where you can’t uncover some inherent gratitude?  I haven’t found one yet. (Click that Link to Tweet it)

Oh, I’ll be the first to admit that I have plenty of life experiences that are undesirable or unwanted.  Things that would be different were I, literally, writing a script.  But even the worst hold kernels of gratitude; in fact, sometimes the worst of them hold the most powerful seeds of gratitude. (Click that link to Tweet it)

Even if only in retrospect.

A Commitment and Willingness to Try is All it Takes

If I’m committed to finding gratitude in all my life’s circumstances, I’ve found that I can eventually find gratitude in even the really undesirable ones.  Because of my previous experiences with finding it there.

As in, I can tell myself this story:

“Although this event is very frightening, feels bad, and is extremely unwanted, I can believe that I’ll be okay, things happen like they’re supposed to, and, in the long run, I will most likely find hidden blessings in these events.  Even if that takes a while, for now I can choose to feel my feelings, resolve to face my fears, and trust that things will be okay.”

Allow Me to Be Presumptuous for a Moment

Am I presumptuous to tell you that you can always choose to tell yourself a story like that one?  What if you’re dealing with the death of a loved one, learning about a frightening diagnosis, or losing your marriage?

No, I am not being presumptuous; I have faced those events myself and told that story.  Things have not always turned out exactly as I wanted, but that story has always proven prophetic  – I have always been okay in the long run and, also in the long run, I have always found hidden blessings in those undesirable events.

Because, over time and with enough telling, that story has become one of my beliefs.

Given the Choice, Why Wouldn’t You Choose Gratitude Over the Alternative?

The stories you tell are, and will always be, your choice.  Even when the events are horribly unwanted.  Google the names of “Viktor Frankl” and “Louie Zamperini” if you want to learn more about people who used this technique under the most wretched situations imaginable and survived (even thrived) – especially as time passed.

Today, as I feel grateful for the gift of seventeen years spent with my son, I hope you, too, find many things to be grateful for.  And I also hope you join me in my commitment to telling stories about all life’s circumstances that allow you to feel gratitude.

You’ll love the material reality those beliefs you build will create.

And Happy Birthday, son!

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align your life with your desires…

Why Chewing Flesh is Not Necessary to Create a More Pleasing Reality

Beliefs  Do you believe that you’re chewing the flesh of the dead when you chew gum at night?  I’ll bet you don’t.

Yet in Turkey there are some who believe this.  Are they wrong?

Yes.  And no.

Yes – to you, it is wrong to believe that.

No – to some Turks, it is not wrong to believe that.

I Can Chew Gum at Night If I Want To, Dang It!

What is a belief, after all?  Nothing more than a practiced thought, repeated so many times that it has been cemented into your neural net.

A belief is not independently true.  It is true because you have made it so.  And it doesn’t matter if 99.9% of all the other people on Earth also believe that belief – it is still true because you’ve decided it to be and made it so.

You decided your beliefs are true because someone  you trusted implicitly told you it was true.  And, hence, you repeated the thought until it became a dominant neural path.

Conscious Creators Take Note: Your Beliefs Are Seminal

This is all great news for conscious creators – even if you don’t want to chew dead flesh at night.  If your beliefs are subjective, not true outside of your proclamation of such (unless others also self-proclaim them to be), you can change them to suit you whenever you want. (Click that link to Tweet it)

  • Since your beliefs create your expectations…
  • Since your expectations command the quantum field what to form…
  • Since the quantum field can form everything and anything…

Wouldn’t it behoove a conscious creator to begin raising her beliefs to match her desires?

The universe itself, through the science of quantum physics, gives us the blueprint.  All we have to do it follow it, whether we chew gum at night or not.

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align your life with your dreams…

How to Avoid a Common and Potentially Deadly Spiritual Poison

buttons  What pushes your buttons?  What makes you angry?

Me?  Passive aggressive behavior pushes my buttons.  I often react to it with anger and sometimes lash out in “retaliation” without thinking first.

My Buttons Are Easy for The People Closest to Me to See and Push

And guess what?  The people closest to me know this about me (just as I intuitively know what their buttons are).  And those people occasionally employ passive aggression with me when they are, in that moment, feeling angry towards me, frustrated, and/or powerless.

Their choice to exhibit passive aggression is entirely theirs – there is not much I can do about it.  But I can always do something about my response.  And reacting in anger usually makes me feel rotten afterward.

Doesn’t That Person “Deserve” My Anger?

So why, knowing that passive aggression is not “okay” for someone to use against me and knowing that I am “justified” in my anger towards it, would I tell new, better-feeling stories  about it?  Because I don’t want to feel rotten and I am, after all, the only one in control of how I feel (unless I want to surrender that power to someone else).  Feeling rotten does not align me with my desires and acting in anger towards someone does not create a personally pleasing physical reality for me.

When someone pushes my buttons, I can choose to tell a new, better feeling story about it.  I can remember:

  • “The button-pusher is, at that moment, not in a good place; anyone who feels great about himself doesn’t need to resort to that kind of immature, non-effective behavior.”
  • “The scenario where my buttons get pushed by a loved one or acquaintance is, after all, a well-rehearsed dance; the button-pusher and I know the choreography by heart and I am just as responsible for the habitual nature of this dance which has been formed through loads of practice between us.”
  • “Justifying my angry reaction to getting my buttons pushed doesn’t make me feel any better in the long run.  I might get the satisfaction of feeling “right”, but I don’t feel good.  Which is more important to me today?  Being aware of my part in this dysfunctional dance and taking responsibility for it feels much better than the self-righteous satisfaction of being “right”.

Those stories feel so much better than:

  • “I need to yell at this person because he has made me angry with his button-pushing behavior.”
  • “I am justified to be angry and yell at this person; he deserves it damn it.”
  • “I will punish this button person; he will not get away with this behavior”

Taking Responsibility For Myself Is The Antidote to the Poison of Self-Righteous Anger

Knowing that it takes two willing people to dance a familiar dance of button-pushing/anger response, I can choose to stop my part in it and blow out the flame of our conflict.  I can do that by telling myself better-feeling, believable stories like the ones I described previously.  And that feels much better, is a more self-actualized response, and aligns me with my desired outcomes.

Not to mention the fact that, with enough practice at telling myself these new, better-feeling, believable stories, I build new beliefs for myself.  And with these new beliefs, over time, I find myself reacting with anger, towards button-pushing behavior, less and less.

Pretty soon I have far fewer buttons to push!  And that’s a wonderful state of being.

Getting angry at people, especially people I know and love, just doesn’t feel good nor does it serve me.  No matter how profoundly I can justify it.  In fact, “justified” anger is, in my experience, one of the worst spiritual poisons I can drink! (Click that link to Tweet it)

Stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to align yourself with your desires more completely than you’d thought possible…

How to Resolve the Biggest Dilemma Regarding Your Unrealized Desires

push-down  This post resolves an important problem caused by our adherence to old paradigms.  Take a moment and think about one desire you’ve held a long time, but have yet to realize.

Money?  Health?  A Relationship?

Just Because Old Paradigms Are Familiar Doesn’t Mean They’re the Best Ones to Use

You’re very familiar with the old paradigm I’m about to talk about – the paradigm of determinism.  The determinism paradigm says:

  1. You have a desire
  2. You take action (follow good directions) to achieve your desire
  3. Through your actions you attain your desire

Except that doesn’t always work, does it?  And, when it doesn’t work, what solution does the determinism paradigm offer you?  Just one: try harder!  Find new directions.  Rise and repeat.

But, especially in regards to the long-standing desire I asked you to envision earlier, you know how limited the determinism paradigm is.  You know it doesn’t really work.  At least not in all cases, right?

When the Action-Based Paradigm Fails You (As It Will Regularly), What is Your “Plan B”?

So what are you left to do, within the determinism paradigm?  When it doesn’t work, the only option you have left is one you know only too well.  And a very painful option it is.

You are forced to try to push down, or dampen, your desire.  Your only option left is to try telling yourself:

  • “I don’t really need that”
  • “I can be happy without it”
  • “I probably don’t deserve that”
  • “It’s probably wrong for me to want that”

But you and I know that those messages are lies.  The evidence is self-revealing; you still want that desire.  No matter how much you lie to yourself, that desire never leaves!

There’s a Reason Your Unrealized Desires Remain – It’s Okay for You to Want (and Have) Them

Don’t worry.  It’s not supposed to leave.  The attainment of that desire is not only okay for you to achieve, it’s your birthright as an amazingly powerful creator.

And we are not supposed to dampen those life-fulfilling desires!  That’s too painful a way to live.  Why would you be expected to live a life of pain and absence like this.

The good news is that there is a new paradigm you can use which actually works.  It’s the unity paradigm and, through it, you can realize your desires by conducting yourself in accordance with how the universe really functions.

What Can You Do Instead of Pretending You Don’t Want It?

Instead of dampening your desires (which doesn’t work) you can raise your beliefs to match them. (Click that link to Tweet it) You no longer have to pretend you don’t desire something, you need only raise your beliefs to meet it by consciously telling yourself better-feeling, believable stories about it.

This paradigm works just as quantum physics teaches.  The quantum field manifests your material reality in accordance with your beliefs. (Click that link to Tweet it) Or, more accurately, according to the expectations that your beliefs create for you.

Sublimating your desires never worked for you and it never will.  You were born to manifest.  Raising your beliefs does work, though.  And isn’t it wonderful to know that?

Stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to improve your physical reality…

How to Be Grateful for a Freezing, Pre-Dawn Wake-Up on a Day You Expected to Enjoy Sleeping In

snowday  Tuesday evening, last week, 1″ to 3″of snow was predicted for Louisville, KY.  3″ of snow can usually prompt the Louisville schools to close for the day (I know…all you Yankees can hardly believe that, right?)  School being closed would allow all six members of my household to sleep in.

Snow Day!  Is There Any More Definitive Proof that God Loves Children?

Guess whether or not my sons wanted school to be closed the next day?  Even though it would mean another day of school slapped on the end of the year in June?  Didn’t matter; they wanted to sleep.

And guess how much snow fell?  Barely a light dusting.

My sons were angry when I woke them up for school Wednesday morning.  I admit I was a little angry too, when I peered out my window after my alarm clock woke me.  Hey…I enjoy sleeping in too!

Whoops…Turns Out God Might Not Love Them As Much As They Hoped

So I heard the famous “Victim Chorus”:

  • “This isn’t fair”
  • “Why couldn’t it have snowed?
  • “We never get snow days”
  • “The weatherman should be fired”
  • “I want to go back to sleep”

And you should’ve heard what my sons were saying!  😉

How did, you may be wondering, telling the best-feeling, believable story factor into this deluge of whining?  I’m glad you asked.

Here’s a New Story About Going To School Instead of Sleeping In

Here is exactly what I told myself (and my sons):

“Although I would’ve preferred to sleep in today, I can believe that, in the long run, I might actually be glad we had school.  Especially, perhaps, when I’m playing outside on that sunny, June day which would’ve been a school day had school been closed today.”

Not only did that story validate and acknowledge how I/we really felt.  It also framed our circumstances in a much more positive, yet still believable, light.  Before too long we were saying, “I’m actually glad we’re having school; who wants to trade a day off on a warm, beautiful, sunny June day for a cold, wet, gray March one?”

Well…at least one of us was saying that!

Stay tuned to this blog for more tips and techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align your reality with your dreams…

How a Conscious Creator UnKnowingly Creates Someone Else’s Failures

change  As a conscious creator, how influential can you be?  Can you make someone else be successful?  Conversely, can you make someone fail? (Click that link to Tweet it)

Well…No.  And yes.

You and Your Friend Are, At Your Essence, the Same, But Your Physical Bodies are Unique

Each person is her own, unique time-space event.  Her distinct body serves as a vessel for her consciousness, just as yours’ does for you.  She decides what her beliefs are about herself and what her state of being is.

She creates her own reality, her own universe, just as you do for yourself.

But its also true that there is no such thing as a “detached observer”.  You know…the concept of the scientist watching test subjects while hidden behind a one-way mirror, objectively recording the data she sees?  Doesn’t exist.

Quantum physics tells us, after all, that an observer is just as much a part of the outcomes as the things she is observing. (Click that link to Tweet it) Simply by observing, she, literally, becomes part of the outcome.

Or, to state if more accurately, her expectations become part of the outcome.

“Painting” Someone Doesn’t Work, It Just Makes Them Angry

And when it comes to other people, while we can’t necessarily change them like painting a room a new color, we can change our perceptions and experiences of them.  We can see a different person in our own individual universe (which is a quantum physics concept).

So be careful of the stories you tell about others – especially the important people in your life.  Those stories create your beliefs about them.  Those beliefs create your expectations of them.  And those expectations command the quantum field what to manifest for you to experience.

And, in addition to creating your own personal experiences of another person, your beliefs about her can also affect her beliefs about herself (if she lets them).

You are powerful indeed.  Wield that power wisely!

And stay tuned to this blog for more techniques to use new paradigms from quantum physics to more greatly align your life with your desires…